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Son number one is out of nappies! Fifteen days in ‘big boy pants’ and only three accidents to date! Son number one is three years and two months old: this is not the boast of a competitive mother whose nine month old has mastered the art of bladder control and who wants the world to know it. No, this is the surprised and immensely relieved declaration of a mum who, until 11 days ago, simply couldn’t believe it would work.
When Hannah was nine months old and bedtime was proving a struggle, I dutifully read my Gina Ford, watched Supernanny, and asked every parent I knew who didn’t seem entirely sleep deprived, how you get a child to fall asleep without lying next to them. ‘Controlled crying’, came the resounding answer, along with the assurance that three nights of heartbreak would be worth the reward. I remember sitting on the end of the phone to my sister when she executed the textbook techniques on her son, and sure enough, by night four, he had worked out that crying didn’t help and was settling himself to sleep. The holy grail.
It didn’t quite go that way in our house. Hannah didn’t work it out. She just kept on crying. Three nights of heartbreak became three months, Gina Ford found herself in the recycling bin and we found ourselves sleeping on the floor next to Hannah every night. Nothing else worked. It still doesn’t.
And then came the boys. When you have your first baby, people often tell you that there is no handbook for parenting, you just have to figure it out as best you can. And so you do. We figured it out for two years, then someone (something) changed all the rules and we had to figure it out all over again. Second time around, there is still no handbook, but at least by then you should have some scribbles in a notebook and a rudimentary sense of the basics. Except for us, the rules had changed again, and the scribbles and notes we had made didn’t really seem to fit the new model! True, the very early days were much the same, but it wasn’t long before we needed to start learning how to be parents all over again. We’re still learning.
Take the nappies, for example. We tried about six months ago: bought the pants, dusted off the potty, religiously read Pirate Pete’s Potty at bedtime, hung the shiny new reward chart and made a special trip to WHSmith to let the trainee choose Spider-Man stickers with which we would plot his progress.
All those things we’d heard ‘normal’ parents do. I was excited but also, I have to confess, sceptical. Could these things really work? Could we really teach this lesson? Could (and this seemed beyond improbable) it actually be easy? When every skill Hannah has learned has been so hard fought for, the product of endless repetition, intense interaction, multi-disciplinary input, it just seemed impossible that son number one might just get it. It was so hard to imagine, that when, after one initial day of success, he then refused to wear the pants and declared he didn’t like Spider-Man anyway, we just gave up. A self-fulfilling prophecy.
Bedtimes had been much the same. At around nine months, he had also developed that need for someone to stay with him as he fell asleep, and since Gina Ford had long since been turned into an orange juice carton and our trust of the textbook techniques into cynicism, that’s what we did. We tried leaving him to settle a few times, but he didn’t, and we didn’t persevere. There was still a 1:1 ratio of parent to child, so we could manage. But then the ratio changed, and the need for son number one to self-settle became urgent.
In the absence of any better advice, the textbook techniques resurfaced. We braced ourselves for weeks of heartbreak, of endless crying, of a lack of sleep and sanity whilst we struggled to teach our son to make connections and learn lessons which we hadn’t managed to teach our daughter. Three nights of heartbreak and by night four, he had worked out that crying didn’t help and was settling himself to sleep. The holy grail. A lesson re-learned.
Two weeks ago, anxious that son number one was the only three year old at nursery still in nappies, we had to dig out and trust the textbooks again. ‘There are no more nappies’, we said. ‘Oh’, he replied, and promptly picked up one of Hannah’s. ‘This is a nappy’. ‘Yes, but that’s Hannah’s nappy’. ‘Oh. This is a nappy’ (now holding one of his brother’s). ‘Yes, but that’s Noah’s nappy’. ‘Oh. Okay.’ And that was that.
I told my big sister about our happy milestone yesterday and said ‘I feel like a real mum!’ I know this sounds odd: in some ways parenting a child with profound needs is as ‘real’ and gritty as it gets, and being a mum is the most real and honest thing I could ever hope to be. But walking around with a potty and a bag of spare clothes under my buggy, learning to recognise the tell-tale jig, and running with two children under my arms for the nearest toilet because my son said ‘mummy, need a wee’, those things feel real. They feel good. The big boy pants are not only a mark of his milestones, they are a mark of ours too: slowly learning to unlearn some of the lessons Rett has taught us and to learn, instead, how to be just parents.
Tagged in: Rett Syndrome
Potty Training Live offers free help to parents
Research shows potty training is one of the most stressful stages of parenting and so we’ve created Potty Training Live to help.
United Kingdom (PRWEB UK) 28 June 2013
With children getting potty trained later than in the past, ‘Take Your Nappy Off Week’ (July 15 – 21) is being held to help parents ‘go for it’ and get their children out of nappies. It’s part of Potty Training Live! a free programme of support to help get little ones through the challenge of potty training.
Parents can register at PottyTrainingLive.com for a six-week programme of free support that will guide them through the key stages of potty training, from changing nappies in the bathroom and learning the ‘bathroom routine’ right through to big boy or girl pants and dry days.
Potty Training Live And National ‘Take Your Nappy Off’ Week are being run by potty training experts, Dry Like Me and are endorsed by paediatric continence advisor and director of PromoCon, June Rogers MBE who says “It’s best to start around the age of two as it’s harder to potty train an older toddler who can see the benefits of continuing to use their own ‘mobile toilet’ – a disposable nappy!”
As well as free weekly guidance, there will be exclusive tips from the Dry Like Me potty training experts, Jude and Di, advice videos, web chats and competitions to win goodies.
Successful Potty Training
Most children are ready for potty training at around the age of two. Research shows that is the best time to start and that, if parents leave it later, it can actually take longer. However, with nappies being made in larger sizes for older children, many parents unwittingly miss the ideal age and their children get used to using the nappy as a toilet.
Successful potty training isn’t just about buying a potty; if parents take a little time to get their child ‘ready for potty training’ before they start and go through the Potty Training Live stages it’s likely to go much more smoothly.
June Rogers, MBE says: “There are a number of stages in potty training and the run up to potty training is all about being prepared, which could include taking the child to buy a potty and perhaps pants with their favourite character on, making them aware about wees and poos and getting them happily sitting on a potty or toilet. When parents feel the time is right, they should take the nappy off completely in the day, keep the potty in the bathroom and have an open door policy so when parents go to the toilet little one can go too. Children are not that interested in becoming toilet trained so it’s important that parents try to make them interested.”
Signing up to Potty Training Live! will give parents all the information they need to get their little one dry. The programme can be joined at any time to receive weekly advice and there will be web chats when parents can ask their potty training questions.
Dry Like Me
Jude Hough from potty training experts, Dry Like Me says: “Research shows that potty training is one of the most stressful stages of parenting, so we’ve created Potty Training Live to help.” Dry Like Me potty training pads are a real break-through in the challenge to get children out of nappies and into their own pants. The award winning, handy little potty training pads turn all pants into potty training pants by adding an absorbent layer. They give little ones extra confidence and ease the pressures on parents, while still letting children learn from their accidents.
Dry Like Me pads help children to recognise their body’s cues for the loo, a key part of potty training. While they are learning, they capture small accidents and so reduce the mess and stress. They are soft, comfortable and suitable for children of all ages with one size fitting all.
June Rogers, MBE comments: “It can be a step too far going from a nappy to ordinary pants, so wearing a little Dry Like Me pad is really useful. It’s shaped so it can fit easily in a pair of little undies, when it absorbs the urine it becomes heavier and that triggers to the child that they’ve done a wee.”
Dry Like Me are available from Tesco, Asda, Sainsbury, Morrisons, Wilkinsons, Ocado and Amazon and cost around £3.49 for a pack.
For information, special offers and to sign up to Potty Training Live! go to http://www.PottyTrainingLive.com, facebook.com/DryLikeMeUK, Twitter @dry_like_me with hashtag pottytraininglive and hashtag byebyenappy.
It seems impossible: A baby — many times not much older than newly born — goes to the bathroom directly into the toilet and not a diaper. Devotees of “elimination communication” (EC) say that it can happen.
Christine Gross-Loh has been preaching this alternative to toilet training for years; her book, The Diaper Free Baby, has been the instruction manual for EC devotees since it was published in 2007. Here she gives advice on being number one in the “number two” business.
How is EC different from regular toilet training?
The most basic difference is that you start EC earlier, before a child has become so used to eliminating in diapers that potty training is a whole new transition he has to get used to (and may be resistant to).
Babies are born with this awareness of elimination, but as they become used to eliminating in a diaper all the time, they lose that awareness — and have to work on becoming aware again when they reach the age of conventional toilet training. EC-ed children are often out of diapers completely at or before the age when most children are just beginning to embark on potty training.
What advice do you have for working parents who live in cities who may want to try EC?
EC can be done during the evening or on weekends. Even if you are at home with your baby full-time, you may not be doing EC full-time. It’s easy to have some diaper-free time during the evening, or sit your baby on the potty before and after his bath. Doing EC does not mean you have to ditch diapers completely.
What are some drawbacks to EC? Benefits?
It’s hard to do anything when it’s not a cultural norm — you may get less support and less information. Information about EC — about typical stages, about the logistics — is really key. Luckily, the information and support is out there as more and more parents do EC. And there are so many great reasons to give it a try: There are communication benefits (you learn to read your baby just as you learn how to figure out when he is hungry or sleepy), environmental and economic benefits (you go through fewer diapers) and health benefits (less diaper rash). Finally, you are not relying on diapers so much that your child becomes reluctant to let go of them, a problem that some parents face when doing conventional toilet training.
Why do you think EC has taken off in recent years?
I think it’s because there are so many parents out there who know more about the world around us. They know that in cultures around the world, it’s not at all the norm for a baby older than one to be in a diaper.
When you know that this isn’t a universal thing, it makes you feel more open to understanding why and how this is, and to realizing there are some viable lessons here for us.
EC for every parent
Gross-Loh aims to make The Diaper Free Baby accessible to all types of parents and she writes for three categories: full-time, part-time and occasional EC-ers.
She also includes a support group within the book that includes inspiring testimonials and tips throughout every chapter.
News Worth Sharing:
May 24th, 2013 at 2:10 am
My kids are still in diapers! I know it sounds terrible but I promise it’s only at night. I had a moment where I had to seriously consider and ask for tips for potty training at night. It just felt so difficult to accomplish.
Potty training at night is one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in parenting. I much rather change diapers every morning than to have to train my cranky kid to use the bathroom at night. It took us longer than I thought it would to just potty train. The best part was having them trained at the same time other than that I felt like it would never happen. My kids are only 13 months apart so this actually worked pretty well. I really think it’s time to get the night time potty training out the way too.
I believe that night time potty training is difficult for me because our kids struggle to sleep some days. It gets overwhelming to put them down and then have to wake them to be sure they go potty. Plus I’m training two at the same time again.
We recently went to Mexico and I forgot the diapers! I was worried because Mexico can get very cold at night. While they don’t always wake up wet in the morning I knew the chance of it being extra cold wasn’t going to work in our favor. There I was staring at them sleeping hoping they wouldn’t have an accident. I wasn’t going to let our vacation turn sour so I thought, if I can survive this weekend with no diapers then we can totally do without from now on!
Consider these tips for potty training at night if you are at this stage with your kids
Tips for potty training at night
Scroll through the slides for some tips that helped our potty training process at night easier.
Do you have some awesome Tips for Potty Training?
Read more of Ruby’s writing at Growing Up Blackxican
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May 15th, 2013 at 4:39 pm
We spent a month potty training our 3-year-old Izaiah. He was peeing and pooping on the toilet. All was glorious. He was given praise and gummies. Life was happy.
Then the stomach bug hit.
For 2 weeks, Izaiah had a sick stomach resulting in us throwing a pull-up on him as it was easier than him attempting to make it to the toilet. (Note: There is nothing grosser than cleaning a trail of poo off of your floors.) The stomach bug wouldn’t quit, the poor thing was in agony until he finally got some relief this past week.
It’s funny what 2 weeks will do. The 4 weeks we spent potty training, well. He is acting like he forgot all of that potty nonsense. We are back to square one. He is again running around naked and peeing everywhere. There may have even been a turd left in a unexpected place in the house. I’m ready to cry, but I can’t as the kid who I got to wear underwear today, he just peed himself.
Looks like I’ll be going to the store this evening, buying cupcakes, and starting the potty training bribery all over again. WAH!
Did You Toddler Have a Potty Training Relapse?
Molly blogs technology, parenting and geekery at Digital Mom Blog.
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As anyone who has potty trained a child knows, the process involves a lot of encouragement and rewards. You start by offering stickers, then MM’s, lollipops and more treats that used to be forbidden — and eventually you are cheering in the bathroom like a tween at One Direction concert. You may even find yourself yelling into a phone “You went pee pee in the potty at school?!? Yayyyy! I’m SO proud of you” from the middle of the HuffPost newsroom (not that any of us have ever done such things). And while experts say positive reinforcement is a good thing during PT, one of our favorite tweets this week comes from a dad who pointed out how it can lead so some slight confusion: “My 2yo son is potty training. Wife sits down on the potty today and he yells, ‘you’re doing it Mama! Dats great Mama!’”
Along with another excellent potty training anecdote, this week’s best tweets were everything from educational to poetic and hilarious. Click through the gallery below to read them all — and vote for your favorites!
More On HuffPost Parents:
stronga href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/18/honest-toddler-twitter-tweets_n_2311775.html”Honest Toddler Would Just Like To Remind Santa There Are Two Sides To Every Story/a
a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/27/cute-baby-videos-of-2012_n_2372259.html?utm_hp_ref=parentsir=Parents”23 Kids Who Stole Our Hearts In 2012/a
a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/best-parenting-tweets”Browse The Full Archive Of Great Parenting Tweets/a
As many moms will tell you, potty training is about as frustrating as it gets when it comes to the toddler years.
But one mom’s interesting approach has parents shaking their heads.
A photo of two toddlers enjoying a fast food lunch while atop potty chairs has circulated the web and created a parenting firestorm.
“The more you thought about it, the more unappetizing everything looked around me,” Kimberly Decker told KSL Utah. “I was like this is not OK, we’re eating, there was a business meeting with about five or six businessmen going on right next to me. The place was packed.”
What SheSays: Obviously, this is a ridiculous practice, not to mention the food-safety issues at hand.
We’re all about businesses and restaurants accommodating parents, but this is just plain weird and gross for those sitting nearby.
What do you think? Join in the conversation at http://SheSaysTV.areavoices.com and watch this week’s episode of “What SheSays.”
hot topics, shesays, family
More from around the web
A young boy is quickly learning that in the world of potty training, you can’t always pee where you want.
Caroline Robboy tells NBC10 she was inside a clothing store Sunday night on South Street in Philadelphia with her family when her two children told her they had to go to the bathroom.
“While we’re in the store my 9-year-old and 2-year-old needed to use the bathroom,” said Robboy. “They asked if they could use the bathroom and were told no.”
As Robboy left the store with her elderly in-laws and three children, she says her 2-year-old son Nathaniel ran to a traffic light pole and took matters into his own hands.
“I told him to go over to a grassy patch and make pee,” said Robboy. “Next thing you know I have an officer giving me a police ticket for public urination!”
The officer wrote on the $50 ticket that Robboy told her son to go in the street and never acknowledged it was an accident. Robboy then claims the officer gave her a lecture on parenting.
“He said, ‘I’m doing this for your own protection because God forbid there might have been a pervert out there looking at my son,’” said Robboy.
NBC10 showed the ticket to two women on the street to get their reaction.
“That’s terrible,” said one woman.
“Unbelievable,” said the other. “He’s two! Can we donate or something for her to pay the ticket? Seriously, he’s two!”
Robboy tells NBC10 Nathaniel is a bright child who, aside from Sunday’s misfire, is doing well with his potty training. She also says she plans to fight the ticket.
“It’s not about the $50,” said Robboy. “I want a place that feels friendly to me where my children feel safe and have positive experiences with police officers.”
A spokesperson with the police department tells NBC10 they routinely allow their officers to use their own judgment and discretion. They’re currently trying to contact the officer who issued the ticket to get his side of the story before they take any action.
According to the mother of the toddler, police said the ticket was for his protection
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PHILADELPHIA — A Philadelphia toddler’s mother was ticketed when her potty-training son urinated on the street.
Caroline Robboy said she was shopping with her 2-year-old son, Nathaniel, and other family members Sunday when the boy said he needed to go to the bathroom. Robboy asked an employee at the store to use a bathroom and was told the facilities weren’t open to the public.
As the family was leaving the store, Nathaniel took matters into his own hands, walking up to a light post and doing his business.
A police officer watching the family came over and wrote Robboy a ticket, which also came with a parenting lecture.
“He said, ‘I’m doing this for your own protection because God forbid there might have been a pervert out there looking at my son,’” Robboy told WCAU-TV, Philadelphia.
The mother said she plans to fight the ticket, which carries a $50 fine.
“It’s not about the $50,” Robboy said. “I want a place that feels friendly to me where my children feel safe and have positive experiences with police officers.”
A police department spokesman said the officer was within his authority to write the ticket.
Copyright © 2012 LexisNexis, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright 2012 U.P.I.
Photo courtesy of Today Show
Moms, you might get away with breast feeding your child in a public venue (and I say why not?) but hell have no fury should you try potty training your young one in a public venue, say like a restaurant.
Confused? Don’t be, let’s read a blog entry courtesy of one disgruntled diner who couldn’t believe what was happening in front of her at one local Utah restaurant.
Courtesy of Kimberly Decker:
“While we sat down to have lunch, I noticed this young Mother was potty training her two twin daughters at the table. It didn’t quite register at first what was happening, but when I took a second glance I realized this is NOT OK! I decided to snap a picture of the whole incident and then later that afternoon as a ‘joke’ I decided to post it on Facebook. I couldn’t believe the response I got,”
Interesting. What’s the expression? Different strokes for different folks. But seriously maybe training your kids to do that stuff amongst strangers who are also eating isn’t probably going to win you the best behavior award. After all who wants to be reminded about something so personal at the dinner table and by kids who you know are probably making a mess of it too? Makes you wonder what else goes on at home never mind in public.
Offers Kimberly Decker further who initially thought the kids were merely sitting in booster seats until of course she realized otherwise:
“She had to undo the jumpsuits, and take them all the way down so they were completely nude, with the jumpsuits down to their ankles just eating their chicken nuggets, sitting on little toddler potties,”
Eating those nuggets while creating other little nuggets, oh dear.
Of course the following comment courtesy of one reader caught my eye too:
Commenters on KSLTV’s website agreed that the mom (who hasn’t been identified) made an outrageous choice. “Parenting is difficult! Yes, we’ve all been through it, and potty-training is tough….. BUT, what you did is wrong in so many ways! First, you must teach your children the proper time and place to go potty – and public places, especially in crowded restaurants is NOT NOT NOT the place. Children are not animals – they are small versions of you! “ user ad8835 wrote.