I am so over poop. OVER IT.
I am so over potty training. I am so over tiny underwear and tiny potties and bit potties and the typical junk-grabbing pee-pee dance he does when he has to go but doesn’t want to. I am tired of keeping stickers and marshmallows on hand 24/7. And I am so tired of trying to figure out how to get this kid to poop in the potty.
The weird thing is, if I was on an island all by myself with nobody but me and my son, I wouldn’t care if he was still in diapers at six.
But it’s the looks from everyone else when they see his diaper peeking out over his jeans. When we’re at the park and some grandma-lady sets her lips in a thin line when I have to haul him to the bathroom and hoist him up on the changing table he is way too big for these days. Like maybe I am doing something wrong because my kid refuses to poop in the potty.
I can feel the judgment and it stings because that’s our biggest fears as mothers in general, that we’re just not doing enough or doing it right and we’re screwing it all up. Right?
Then they say something really “helpful,” like how if I let him mess his undies, he won’t like it and he’ll stop pooping in his pants. Excuse me while I howl with laughter. My kid doesn’t give a sh*t. (awesome play on words there, self.)
Or how if I stayed home with him for three days and really dedicated myself to his training, he’d get it. I can tell you honestly that he won’t because we’ve tried it, several times.
Or that I need to find his “currency.” There is nothing in this entire universe that would make that kid poop. Trust me. I’ve offered him everything and he’s just like, NAH.
Last night, even my own mother started in on it when she asked if he was still in diapers 100% of the time at home. I shrugged and told her that we give him a choice and sometimes he chooses undies, but 90% of the time, he chooses diapers. I wanted to shrug it off, but even with my own mom, I felt the weird look.
I need to learn to block it out. I’m happy to let my kid go at his own pace when we are by ourselves, so why do I bristle when others weigh in their opinions?
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